…you don’t need a blender, you just grind the beans in your mouth!
…you’re employee of the month at the coffee house down the street, and you’re not even an employee.
…you’re eyes stay wide open when you sneeze.
…people get dizzy just looking at you.
…Starbucks owns the mortgage on your home.
…instant coffee takes wayyyy too long for you.
…your life’s ambition is to go to sleep so you can wake up and drink some more coffee.
…you can’t imagine the term “brew” referring to anything other than coffee.
…you don’t tan, you roast.
…you introduce your romantic interest as your “Coffeemate”
…you’ve worn the finish off your coffee table.
…you never sweat, you percolate.
…all your kids are named Joe.
…you have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
…you bite other people’s fingernails.
…your nervous twitch actually registers on the Richter scale.
…YOU chase your dogs tail.
…you ski uphill.
…you don’t cry over spilt milk, you FREAK OUT over spilt milk.